


Love Hurts

by Cxlyps_o



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Hanahaki Disease, Insecure Lance (Voltron), M/M, Voltron, hanahaki, klance, klance fluff, vld
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 12:48:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15663549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cxlyps_o/pseuds/Cxlyps_o
Summary: "I love Keith. So much it hurts. So much I didn't even know it was possible to love someone this much. I can't just... throw it away. I'm scared to. I've never loved someone this way before, it's exciting, but terrifying. It's like I need him, to live. I'm scared that if I throw it away I'll never feel like this ever again."{Hanahaki Disease }The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up and coughs of flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love.





	1. Chapter 1

**Day 1**

**3:39 am**

Lance couldn't breathe. 

His throat was raw with pain, the air only barely getting to his lungs which screamed and begged for air as he retched into his toilet, the porcelain cold on his hot and sweating skin as he gripped desperately, digging his nails in so hard he feared his nails would crack under the pressure. Though that was the least of his worries. Tears were squeezed from his eyes, the pain in his chest and throat causing him to grimace at every moment, his eyelashes wet as stray tears fell down his dark skin. 

He had done this to himself. He knew that. He'd made himself so stressed with his own thoughts that he'd became ill. The uneasy feeling had been growing in his stomach for weeks, a nervousness, anticipation for something that wouldn't happen. The one thing that kept crossing his mind, pacing back and forth like a hungry tiger, creating footprints on his brain:

Keith. 

When he'd gotten this love for the boy, he did not know. He only knew that his love had been growing far too fast for his liking, and his mind couldn't keep up with his heart. In the past week he'd found himself thinking Keith so much it was implausible. He'd thought about his stupid mullet and how it made him look hot, somehow. He'd thought about his incredibly bad fashion sense and how he strangely made it look good. He'd thought about Keith's eyes and how they sparkled in the light when he laughed. Truly laughed. Lance had noticed little things about Keith, and these observations only seemed to make his heart swell more with love for the boy. This is when the uneasiness had started. 

It was weird for Lance, to like a boy so undeniably. He wasn't completely gay, he liked girls too, like Allura, but compared to this feeling Lance felt now, his crush on Allura was nothing more than that, a crush. He almost found that funny, the fact that he was bisexual. He couldn't even choose between gay and straight, he could never make definitive decisions, couldn't do anything without confirmation from others, he depended on people too much. He hated this about himself. He had always needed other people to lean on, but they never needed him in the same way. He was replaceable, even in Voltron. They didn't really need him.

Yet, he wanted Keith to need him. Needed Keith to want him. 

But he never would.  

Keith had never relied on anyone else, the opposite to Lance, completely independent. This is why Lance's thoughts had started scaring him, he was so hopelessly in love with Keith now that, the mere idea that his love would be unrequited scared him incredulously. The weight of that one thought had hit him like a brick, knocking the wind from his lungs and leaving him gasping for air, a crumpled pile of anxiety on his bed. Since then, his mind had not let him rest, depriving him of sleep and leaving him paranoid about what would happen if Keith found out... He would be angry, Lance had convinced himself of this, he believed that he would be laughed at, rejected and tossed to the side without a second thought. He wouldn't let Keith know. 

His feelings had remained, even with the attempts at forgetting, drowning them out and even flat out ignoring them. They wouldn't leave him alone. Always there, in the back of his head a photo of Keith was forever burned, and when he dared to let himself think of Keith, the images would burn bright with emotions, letting his heart swell with the idea of the boy before crushing him completely at the realisation that Keith would never return these feelings. 

Lance coughed and choked, bile rising in his throat, pain searing in his chest, the heat burning through his entire body making him feel weak, making him tremble and shake even though he felt his skin was on fire. That's when he felt it in his throat, he had violently choked it up along with drops of blood and it had lied in the water of the toilet, staring up at him with such a fear striking aura. 

A single petal. Blue, although covered in the bright red of his blood. So obviously blue. 

Lance stared at it for a long time, no longer feeling the need to throw up, though the uneasiness was still there. The blood could have been no more than a tablespoon, he dismissed it as just due to the amount of coughing and choking he'd done, thinking it must have just made his throat so raw it bled. The petal though... He stared for so long, confusion spread across his features, through his staring he concluded that, it was indeed a real petal, not fake, from a real plant. How had it gotten in his system? 

He pushed his body up slowly from the ground, still weak and shaking from his bodies rejection, shutting the lid of the toilet and pushing the flush down. He pulled a hand through his tangled and sweat covered hair. 

"Man, what's Coran been putting in our food." He says quietly to himself in the darkness of his bathroom. He'd woken up so suddenly, feeling the unsteadiness in his body, that he hadn't bothered with lights, just thrown back his covers and stumbled around in the dark to get to where he was. 

He reached for the light switch now, turning it on quietly and turning to the sink to wash his face of blood, sweat and tears. He pulled his head up and looked into the mirror, hands on either side of the basin to support his still in shock body. He didn't recognise himself. His hair was slick with sweat and grease, pulled to one side and hanging over one eye, his face was void of colour and despite his dark skin he still looked pale, this only made the bags under his eyes more obvious but most frighteningly, Lance saw his eyes and felt fear. They were void. Nothingness lied there, dull and lifeless. He looked older.  

He finally pushed himself away from the mirror and stumbled back into his room to attempt sleep once again. 

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

**7:06 am**

He'd tossed and turned for the remainder of the night, and although it wasn't a great time to get up, Lance couldn't just lay there any longer, alone with his thoughts. He needed to do something to occupy his mind. The sickness in his stomach was still there, impatiently chewing away at his insides, trying to get a reaction from the boy. At this time, he was sure the training room would be empty and he could just train alone. He'd been wrong. 

The moment the door to the training room had opened, Lance had felt his heart squeeze in his chest, the tightness leaving him short of breath. Still, he pushed himself into the room, unable to remove his eyes from the person there before him. 

Keith had finished off his training simulation by swinging round and cutting straight through the body of a robot. The simulation ended and the robot was retracted into the floor, it was now that Keith raised an eyebrow towards Lance as he slotted his blade into the sheath attached to his jeans.  

"You're up before midday? That's a first." He remarked, grabbing his towel from the side of the room and tossing it over his shoulder. Lance couldn't help but notice the sweat that covered the other boy's body, making his plain black tshirt cling attractively to his torso. 

"Y-Yeah, well... wanted to get some training in. You're up early too." Lance managed to speak with only minimal stuttering, but that isn't to say it wasn't embarrassing. He was usually so cool and collected but lately he couldn't even speak clearly, all because of Keith. 

"I always get up at this time," Keith furrowed his eyebrows at him. "You're just never up early enough to know that. I see why now, the morning doesn't treat you well does it, Lance?" He gestured to the boys unkempt appearance, that wasn't due to just one nights lack of sleep, but Lance would never tell Keith the real reason. Lance felt his cheeks heat. 

"S-Shut up!" 

Keith laughed and took his knife from the sheath again, letting the blade transform into a bigger sword with a smirk on his face. 

"Make me." He said simply, his words bearing a challenge. Lance felt his cheeks grow hotter once again. 

"W-What..?" Lance stumbled over his words. Kieth rolled his eyes at him.

"It's a training deck. What better way to train than a one on one battle, huh? Unless you're scared you'll loose?" Keith turned on his heal, walking away purposely to rile Lance up, who now had regained some of his moxie. 

"Oh, you're on, Kogane." Lance went for his bayard which instantly took the form of his signature sniper rifle, following Keith into the middle to the room. 

The countdown started and Lance didn't hesitate to go straight in, he wasn't going to loose to Keith. He had him on defence for while before the tables turned and he had to use his shield to block the hits of Keith's blade, dodging and swinging round to try and get to an advantage. For the first time in a week, Lance had forgotten about his nerves and the churning of his stomach. Lance managed to knock Keith so he almost lost his balance while on defence and took the opportunity to get back on offence, taking a few shots at Keith which he'd barely managed to dodge. This riled Kieth up, giving him an idea. He charged at Lance, sliding through his leg stance to get behind him where he kicked at the boy's back so he fell on his front, his bayard sliding away from him. Lance tried quickly to push himself back up, rolling onto his front, but Keith got to him faster, forcing him back to the ground with a foot on his chest, slamming his blade into the ground next to Lance's head. Lance had flinch but when he opened his eye's he saw Keith above him, his breathing laboured from their long battle. Despite himself, Lance smiled. 

"Good fight." Kieth said shortly, ripping his sword to the ground and letting it turn back into the much smaller knife which he pushed back into its pocket sheath. He retracted his foot from Lance's chest and held a hand out to help him up. Lance hesitated for a second, then took it, being pulled up from the ground by Kieth's strong arms. 

"Yeah, good fight." Lance agreed absentmindedly, feeling his heart beat hammering on his chest. 

"You're not even bothered that I totally kicked your ass?" Keith asked, walking over to his towel once again. Lance, who had been retrieving his bayard, stopped and remembered that usually he would be pissed that Keith beat him, but he didn't even care now. 

"Uh- We-Well, yeah obviously! But... it's too early! Ya know?" Lance laughed it off, coming up with an excuse quickly. Keith raised an eyebrow at him uncertainly but said no more. Lance walked over to where Keith was, gulping down water with his towel around his shoulders again. Lance picked up his own towel and wiped away his sweat before clearing his throat in an attempt to voice a question that had occurred to him. 

"Hey, Keith?" The boy turned his head towards Lance showing he was listening. "Aren't you supposed to be with The Blade at the moment?"

Keith sighed, screwing the top back onto his bottle. "I was. Yes. The mission got postponed until later this week, so I'll be gone again in a few days." He explained. Lance's chest tightened again, feeling the almost forgotten feeling in his stomach return stronger. 

"B-But, you just got back-" Lance tried to point out but Keith stopped him. 

"I know that, Lance!" He said, the bite in his tone all too obvious. He took a breath. "I'm not apart of Voltron anymore, there's no real reason for me to be here... That's why I'm moving to The Blade's base..." He explained a bit calmer now. 

"What! Why- When? Have you told the others yet?" Lance couldn't help but let it slip out probably way too panicked. Keith shrugged. 

"Next time I go there. So a few days, and no, I haven't told them yet, so I'd appreciate if you left that to me." He spoke calmly but Lance was anything but.

"Keith, we-" 

"Why do you care, Lance! It's my decision and it really has nothing to do with you!" Kieth snaps now, throwing the towel off his shoulder, his temper finally reaching it's breaking point. Lance felt the sickness again, prodding at his insides, his chest was tight again and breathing suddenly became harder.

"You're right." Lance said simply, picking up his towel and bayard he left the room as Keith began to train again, anger simmering in him. 

Once the door to the training deck had closed it hit him. The searing pain coursing from his lungs into his throat. It felt like his lungs were on fire, like something was forcing it's way into the space in his chest, taking up all the space it could and infesting his body. He took struggling steps, reaching for something to hold him up with a juddering arm, he tried grabbing for the wall and found nothing, his nails ripping down the metal of the castle. 

He fell down at the end of a corridor, on his knees, his hands clasping at his throat as he began to choke again, like he had last night, except now his chest had no space for air, he really was choking on something, he felt it in his throat. Violently retching into the empty hall, no sounds escaping his lips, he felt scared, true fear that struck him deep in his heart and made his mind foggy with panic. He doubled over, having to move his hands to support his weight as he gasped for air.

The blood had come first, more than last night, a lot more. Gushing from his cracked lips, staining his mouth and leaving a taste of metal, like coins. The air still wouldn't go to his lungs and he knew it wasn't over. The petals came up with bile and blood, covered in red they floated to the ground. More than last time. There was probably half a dozen that Lance could see in his blurred vision, tears starting to form in his eyes again. They weren't just blue, they were purple as well, but there was one, lone white petal, blood splattered, yes, but white. Whiter than the purest white. It was almost... pretty. 

Lance coughed once more, the last of the blood coming up and covering his petals. He could breathe again. He sucked in air like a fish out of water, choking again but this time from the oxygen on the back of his throat. 

Down the hall, a door opened and a rather dishevelled looking Pidge darted out, looking for the source of the noise that had woke her up. Her eyes landed on Lance, crumpled on the floor, and the mess of blood in front of him. Her face was taken over by concern as she ran up to him.

"Lance!" She called out, he voice made from worry. "Lance! What's happened?!"

She fell to her knees on the ground next to him, taking his forearm and shoulder in her arms as she attempted to sit him up straight. Lance did not answer, still taking in the air he had so badly missed. 

"Is this blood! Lance you have to tell me what's happened! I'll call Allura here-" Pidge talked quickly, clearly distressed with no idea what to do. 

"No..." Lance had gasped out between breaths. "...don't... no one... please..." 

Pidge looked at him with increasing worry. Lance trusted Pidge but he was scared and didn't know what was happening to his body, he didn't want anyone seeing him like this. So weak and helpless, so in need of help. 

"Lance, you need help-"

"Pidge... just you... please..." His breathing had become a little more stable but he was reluctant to speak in fear of losing the oxygen he so dearly needed. Pidge bit her lip in thought but nodded, knowing that she had to help Lance anyway she could. 

  .✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.  

**8:34 am**

Lance was in Pidge's room, staring into space, knowing that there was something wrong with him. The fear of the unknown was creeping into his brain and setting ideas of uncertainty down and watching them grow into scary beasts that trampled in his head, making the already sick feeling in his stomach double, his insides in knots. 

Pidge sat on her bed cross-legged, typing frantically on her laptop keyboard, a look of concentration plastered on her face as her glasses slowly fell down her nose. Lance could hear her fingers on the keys but his mind wasn't there, it was far off in the deepest parts of his mind. And even there Keith would pop up. He couldn't escape him, even when he should be worried for his own health, all Lance could really think about was Keith. 

Why did he have to leave? 

What was Lance going to do? Keith wouldn't be in the castle anymore. Even though he's in The Blade now, he still lives in the castle and that comforted Lance because he knew Keith would have to come back. But if he didn't live in the castle then he wouldn't have to come back, and he probably wouldn't. Would he ever come back? Would Lance ever see him again once he left to live with The Blade? 

_"There's no real reason for me to be here"_

_But there is_ , Lance thought to himself, _I need you here to keep my heart together. It's selfish, but I need you..._

He felt his eyes and nose sting, the beginnings of tears starting to form. He blinked them back quickly, glancing over at Pidge still hastily typing away. He hadn't told her, there was no point in it at the moment. Pidge had more than once expressed her thoughts on how much of a waste of time love was, and how she was never, ever,  _ever_ , under any circumstance going to 'fall in love'. She wouldn't understand. 

Pidge cleared her throat now, grabbing Lance's attention as she pushed her glasses up her nose. 

"Lance, I found something that matches your symptoms..." She said glancing at him uncertainly. Lance pulled his head up to show he was listening. "It's called  _Hanahaki Disease_... But I'm not one hundred per cent about it..." 

"What is it?" Lance asks curiously, pushing himself up to go look at her laptop. 

"It's a disease caused by unrequited love..." She starts cautiously, Lance's face pales. This is because of Keith? "When love is one sided, a flowering plant will start to grow in the 'victim's' lungs, as the plant grows the victim will start to cough up and regurgitate flower petals, often along with blood." She reads, then stops to look at Lance. "Is it Allura?" she asks. 

"What! No, no... it's... not..." He shakes his head, looking down at his lap. There's silence for a moment. "It's... Keith..." 

Pidge looks shocked for only a second then she looks confused. "I thought you two were, ya know, rivals?" 

Lance shrugs. "The world works in strange ways, Pidgeon... How do we fix this then?" 

Pidge bites her lip, looking down at her keyboard. 

"Well... That's complicated. It says the plant will disappear if or when the other person begin's to... love the 'victim' back... You'd have to confess to him, Lance." Lance attempts to swallows the tightness in his throat, his jaw clenching self consciously. That's the one thing he wanted more than anything, for Keith to love him the way Lance did him, but to tell Keith how he felt? The thought brought a whole new wave of anxiety and fear.  

"What are the other ways?" Lance asks, his fingers fidgeting in his lap. 

"...The  _only_  other way to get rid of the plant is a surgery that will remove it-" 

"Okay, good! So where can I get the surgery then?" He asks, feeling a little bit of the dread lifted from his shoulders, although the idea if surgery still scared him a little, it was better than living with the constant shortness of breath and coughing up petals. Pidge's eyes shift. 

"Lance, you should know that once the plant is removed, so are the feelings for the person... You wont love Keith anymore." She explains. 

Lance's eyes widen slightly, he stares into space once again for moment. The thoughts crashing around his head, cramming themselves in and giving him the beginnings of a headache.

"Pidge, what happens if I don't do anything?" He asks now, knowing the answer in the deepest part of his mind, but not acknowledging it, needing to hear it from someone else to bring it to light. Pidge opens her mouth to speak but closes it again, no sound coming out. She's silent for a moment before she brings herself to speak.

"You'll... The plant will continue to grow and eventually spread to the other parts of your body... You'll... die, Lance." 

Lance breathes out slowly, controlling himself as much a possible, letting the words wash over him and soak him in the truth he had no choice in, weighing his options; Confess. Surgery. Die. Confessing could go one of two ways. The surgery would make him better, but at the cost of not loving Keith. Dying was... a last option.  

"How long?" He says after a minute. She raises an eyebrow at him in questioning. "How long until I... die?" 

"It's different for every person, Lance. It will vary based on the persons circumstances..." 

They're quiet for a long time. The silence letting the terrible reality sink in for both of them.

"I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I think you should do the surgery, Lance." Pidge says, shutting the lid to her laptop. Lance stares at her for a second. 

"I can't. You probably wont understand this, Pidge, but I love Keith. So much it hurts. So much I didn't even know it was possible to love someone this much. I can't just... throw it away. I'm scared to. I've never loved someone this way before, it's exciting, but terrifying. It's like I need him, to live. I'm scared that if I throw it away I'll never feel like this ever again. Then I'll have to live the rest of my life knowing I could of had something that was so undeniably meant to be, but I was too afraid to even try." Lance's eyes were wild with a passion even Pidge couldn't deny. She sighed, not really happy with Lance's decision but knowing she couldn't change his mind. 

"You're going to get Keith to love you back then?" She asked, worried for her friend. 

"I'll tell him how I feel. That's the only thing I can do." He shrugs, steadying his breathing as he talked. 

"And tell him about the disease?" He shakes his head and Pidge turns to face him fully. "But Lance, what if-" 

"It wont make a difference if he knows or not. I can't force him to love me back. Confessing is the best chance I've got." Lance cuts her off, knowing he's already made up his mind. "... So, you'll help me, right?" 


	2. Chapter 2

**Day 2**

**2:17 pm**

Lance hadn't slept again. This wasn't new, though. Apart from the tightness in his chest and his restricted breathing that was getting worse with every passing second, he hadn't slept because he was nervous. Pidge and him had spent all day yesterday, going over the best ways for Lance to confront Keith. A lot of the time was also spent with Pidge calming Lance. He'd cried a lot yesterday. Too many times had his mind wandered to the dangerous thought:

What if Keith didn't accept Lance's confession? 

Lance wouldn't get the surgery. Under any circumstances. He wasn't throwing away his feelings. So, if Keith didn't accept...? Lance was going to die. That is why he'd cried so much yesterday. Why he'd cried himself to sleep only to awake and cry again. Because Lance was risking his life for Keith. 

Lance had woke up to see himself looking paler than the day before, the bags under his eyes even worse and he even looked... skinnier. Perhaps the most unsettling though what the patches of skin on his chest and neck that were painted in bruises. Reds, blues, purples, blacks, yellows, greens. They littered his skin, covering the freckles and marks that were there, making ugly patterns that taunted him. Lance struggled to find a shirt that covered them all, finally settling on a plain black, skin tight one. The one he usually wore under his paladin armour. He slipped his signature jacket on over the top and left to ask Pidge. Surely enough it was a side affect of his Hanahaki disease. Apparently coughing up petals did that to you. 

Keith had told everyone that he was leaving. There was this whole team meeting that was so painful for Lance for the reason that he couldn't bring himself to look at Keith anymore. His lungs felt full, confined by the plant of blue, purple and white petals that sat in his chest. he'd told them all he was leaving later the next day. That was today. He'd told Lance in a few days, not tomorrow, only saying that there was no point him being there anymore. 

Keith leaving had nothing to do with Lance? Wrong, Keith. It had everything to do with him. 

Lance was still convinced Keith would reject him, laugh at him, but he had told himself to remain positive, he knew fear could make you do stupid things. 

He knew Keith would be on his own. That's how Pidge had been planning to help, by getting everyone else out the way. Her, Allura and Shiro were all doing some geeky, tech thing that Pidge had tried to explain to Lance, and failed. He didn't understand her science at the best of times, let alone when so much was already pestering his mind.  Coran and Hunk were else where in the castles kitchen.

Lance took as much air as his lungs would allow before entering the Castle's main bridge. He could feel his heart pounding against his rib cage violently, making his whole body shake. Keith was there, looking at Pidge's Galra finder. He didn't notice Lance until the boy walked in a few paces. 

"Oh, Lance... Look, I'm sorry for shouting at you yesterday." He paused, looking at Lance's appearance. 

Lance held his breathe for a moment, hoping to not get questioned by the other boy about why he looked so terrible, again. "Uh- Yeah, don't worry about it-" Lance choked, his mouth suddenly dry. 

"...I don't want to leave here with you feeling like we're on bad terms, 'cause, I guess we're kinda... friends?" Keith finished his sentence in a question which didn't sit well with Lance.

"Yeah! Yeah, we're friends..." Lance laughed all too awkwardly. "Actually, that's kinda what I wanted to talk to you about..." Keith raised an eyebrow but showed he was listening, so Lance continued. 

"I just... b-before you leave for, who knows how long, I wanted to say some things. Um... We-We've known each other for years, and being on the same team has made us spend more time with each other. I feel like we are friends now, but that's kind the problem, well not a problem, but-" Lance spoke too quickly, he paused, breathed and started again, all the while Keith's face grew more confused. "I have no way to say this other than... I have... feelings for you, Keith." 

There was a long silence. Lance's heart was beating so fast and hard he feared a heart attack. The silence didn't stop with Keith talking. Lance felt, in his chest, a growing sensation. A tightness that constricted his breathing, and travelled to his throat. He desperately swallowed it down. 

"Lance-..." Keith began but stopped again, looked down for a moment then sighed out. "I... don't know what to say... We're teammates, yes and we're closer than we were, but... Lance, I don't think this is the best time for either of us right now... I'm sorry..." Keith looks to the side of him, Lance at the floor. He can't tell if his heart is beating too fast that he can't feel it or if it's stopped completely, the only indication that it's still beating is the pounding in his ears making him feel light headed. 

"That's okay..." Lance says, his voice no more than a whisper. He doesn't look up. Keith is silent for a moment, looking at Lance's bowed head with sad eyes. 

"I should get going. I have to leave soon." Keith says tentatively. Lance doesn't reply. 

He see's Keith's foot move from his line of sight and hears him make his way out of the room before he hears the door open and close, leaving him in silence, only the beating of his broken heart filling his ears. He doesn't look up. 

The pain was sharp and sudden, stronger than it had ever been before, forcing him to his hands and knees almost immediately. He couldn't breathe. No air reached his lungs, no noise came from his throat as he tried desperately to suck in air. He coughed and choked and heaved, hopelessly trying to force the petals from his throat. They fell from his mouth in a cascade of colour, blood fell over his tongue along with them. His chest burned, his heart hurt, but the petals kept coming, they were endless. Lance had barely had time to think about his rejection and how it has hurt him emotionally. All he could think, the only thought on his mind as blood and plant fell from his lips:

He was going to die. 

Footsteps were suddenly running towards him, a voice calling his name. His brain was too oxygen starved to make out the voice's owner, his eyes blurry with the beginnings of tears. Part of him hoped it was Keith.

"Lance! No! Lance, oh God-" The panicked voice belonged to Pidge, so obviously Pidge, of course. He was stupid to think it would be Keith. Lance coughed up more petals that fell into his pile, not daring to look at Pidge who had fell besides him, pawing at his arm. 

"Pidge..." He wheezed between breaths. "...Aren't they pretty?"

Lance's felt the first of his warm tears fall over his lashes, descending down his cheeks, his mind running a million thoughts a second. 

"What? Lance, I'm getting help-" 

"No!" Lance grabbed Pidge's arm with force, anchoring her down finally looking up where she saw the streams of tears staining the boys face, his expression one of pain and sorrow. "...Please..." 

Lance's hand fell from Pidge's arm as he blacked out. 

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

**4:47 pm**

"I don't understand?" Hunk furrowed his eyebrows at Pidge who was still trying to explain what had happened to Lance. Everyone stood around the healing pod that contained Lance. Coran had insisted on this, but as Pidge watched Lance's vitals, she could tell it wasn't helping. Keith had already left. "Lance likes Keith? And that's made a plant grow in his lungs that will kill him?" 

"Yes, that's exactly what I said. He didn't want help, I don't know how long he's been keeping this a secret but he's in bad health, I don't know how we didn't notice." Pidge looks guilty, she was blaming herself, she fiddled with her glasses as she kept and eye on his breathing. 

"I did notice," Shiro starts, his arms folded across his chest. "but every time I asked him if he was okay, he just brushed it off or came up with some excuse. I didn't want to push, now I know I should have." 

"But I knew! And I didn't tell you guys. I should have, I know, but I thought I could help, I thought I had it under control. I'm so sorry." Pidge's voice was small, tears started forming in her eyes behind her glasses. Lance was her best friend and she couldn't bare the thought of him dying. 

"Pidge..." Allura's voice was soft and calm as she moved to sit next to her, pulling a comforting arm around the smaller girls shoulders. Pidge wiped quickly at her eyes, almost knocking her glasses off in the process. "We can get him better, somehow..." 

"Yeah, you said there's the surgery." Hunk pointed out. 

"But he wont get it, he refused... He's scared..." Pidge's voice was broken in her throat, rolling off her tongue with more vulnerability than she liked. 

"Well, he doesn't have much choice." Coran shrugged. "We're not risking a paladin's life." 

"Coran is right, Lance may not like it but no feelings are worth dying for, especially when he's apart of Voltron." Allura sighs, not moving from Pidge's side. 

"I'll set a course for the nearest Space Hospital, shouldn't take more than  a varga to get there." Coran states, turning to head to the main bridge.

"I'm now coming, Coran." Allura calls after him before getting up to head after him, not before stopping next to Shiro. "Look after Pidge." She whispers with a small smile, he nods and she leaves. 

There's a second of silence before Pidge speaks again. 

"Shiro, you need to find Keith." 

"What? Why?" He furrows his eyebrows with confusion at her request.

"He needs to know, at least, that Lance is dying, it's only right. And you're the only one that could talk to him and bring him back. Please, Shiro." Pidge begs, her eyes beginning to dry now but the sadness still there. Shiro goes to speak but Hunk beats him to it. 

"Pidge is right, I don't care what Keith says, if this is to do with him he should know, plus... I don't actually believe him..." 

"What do you mean? You don't believe him?" Shiro asks. 

"I mean, I think he's ignorant to his feelings." Hunk shrugs. 

"You think he likes Lance but just wont admit it?" Pidge questions with wide eyes of hope. 

"I think Keith could love Lance, he just needs a push." 

There's silence again, the two of them looking at Shiro as he weighs his options. Allura told him to look after Pidge, he should probably stay here, there's no guarantee that Keith will come back with him, but this could save Lance, and it is looking after Pidge...

He made his choice. 

"Don't tell Allura or Coran. Cover for me, alright?" Shiro sighs, unfolding his arms. Pidge smiles and nods her head before looking towards were Lance rests. 

 .✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

**6:23 pm**

Lance wakes up in a bed that isn't his, in a room he doesn't recognise. He panics, feeling his chests tightness, where was he? The room was so plain and white he wondered if he had really died... That's when he remembered; Keith. His heart thumped loudly in his chest, the pain of heart break seeping to his eyes an pouring down onto the skin of his face. He wiped his eyes, his vision now faintly clearer. He saw the room for what it really was. A hospital. Was he on earth? No, he couldn't be, earth was galaxies away, he knew that. A hospital on some other planet, in some other galaxy? It looked so similar. 

Lance saw his arm and hand, connected to various wires and machines. His eyes widened. 

"No..." He breathed shallowly. "No! NO!" He wept into the silence of his room, they took him to a hospital. His disease, his lungs, the plant. His plant. It was his, his decision, they can't take it away, can't take his feelings away, he wouldn't let them. Had they already? No, no, when he thought of Keith his heart still hurt, still swelled. He still loved Keith. He let out a forced breath, his throat tight. He had to leave, had to get out. He wasn't having the surgery, he wasn't throwing away his feelings, even if that meant dying. His head was clearer now, shaking off the last effects of sleep. 

The door was pushed open and there was a nurse, an alien race he'd never seen before, light, white skin and big dark eyes, flat, red hair and abnormally small in build. 

"Oh, you're awake. That's good, I'll send your friends in for a while then I'll be back to check on you and we'll talk about your treatment." Her voice was slightly garbled, but calm. The way she said treatment left a bad taste in his mouth but he only nodded. She left and a few minutes later Allura and Pidge entered the room. Lance didn't look at them, he just stared into space. 

"Lance, how are you feeling?" Allura asked, a smile on her face. The only answer she got was silence. She looked towards Pidge who was already biting her lip. "They only let two people in at a time." She tried again, adding a slight laugh to her sentence. Still no reply. 

"Lance, please don't be mad..." Pidge said quietly. Lance forced himself to focus on them, he couldn't stop the stinging of his nose and eyes. 

"I don't want this..." He choked out, his words half a sob. 

"We had to-" Allura begins but he cuts her off. 

"No, no. You didn't have to do anything. You could have respected what I  _assume_  Pidge told you I want." He snapped, wiping the tears again. 

"But that means-" 

"I'm aware." He cuts in once more. Allura sighs. 

"They need your permission to go ahead with the procedure. Lance, you need to do this, you must realise how serious this is." Allura pleads. Lance ignores her. He notices Pidge is fidgeting, glancing at the hallway like she's expecting something. Lance shakes his head. 

"Can you guys leave." 

"Lance-" Allura looks sad, her eyes filled with worry. Lance wont look at her. 

Allura looks towards Pidge then they leave, shutting the door quietly behind them. 

Lance stares out the window, listening to the quiet sounds of the world around him. The sounds from outside, from the halls. They're background music to his self pity. He still had a choice. He still had control, and as long as he did he wasn't backing down. He'd rather die in love than live with regret. That was the sad truth, he didn't want to die, he was scared. 

Noise erupted from the halls, shouting, running footsteps. It was loud, becoming louder, ruining Lance's peace. Muffled voices became clearer. More urgent.  

"You can't go in there! Stop!" The footsteps stopped, there was yelling, sounding like it was coming from right outside his door.

Lance heart raced as the door to his room swung open, the beating so loud and erratic the machine he was hooked up to beeped crazily. The person at the door was someone he didn't expect to see. He was dishevelled, his hair a mess of the deepest black, his clothes askew, dark eyes searching and clearly out of breath. Lance couldn't talk, his chest ached and burned, his throat felt like there was glass lodged in it, ripping and tearing at the flesh. 

"Keith..." 

He felt the petals in his lungs and covered his mouth with his hand quickly, his face twisted in pain as he struggled to hold them back. He didn't want Keith here! Why was he here? He didn't want Keith to see him like this. He shouldn't be here, he didn't have reason... Why...? 

The nurse from before came in hastily, Lance choked and coughed, desperately trying to stop himself. 

"You're not allowed him here! You need to leave!" She addressed Keith before heading to Lance and handing him a bucket to catch his petals and blood. Keith stared with guilt before turning to the nurse. 

"No. I will not." He snapped, walking over to Lance's bedside. Lance coughed again and again, tears in his eyes. Why couldn't Keith just leave? 

The nurse took another look at Lance then turned with a irritated face. "Get out." She warned. 

"I'm trying to fix this! Just let me talk to him!" He yelled, Lance had never heard such emotion in the boys voice. It made his heart hurt. 

"You can come back later." She stated, going to turn him around and out of the room. He didn't budge. 

"He's fucking dying and it's my fault! Just give me ten minutes!" Keith was still yelling but his words were a plead. The nurse pulled her lips into thin line, took a last look at Lance who was calming down now, but only slightly, clutching the plastic bucket with both hands. Then she left quietly with a glare towards Keith.

Keith let out a breath to calm himself, raking a hand through the front of his hair. He walked over to Lance's side and knelt next to his bed, ignoring the chair that was in the corner. He rested his head on the sheets of the bed as Lance stared at him blankly, his heart conflicted, his throat raw.

"I'm sorry." Keith's voice was muffled by the sheets, Lance could barely make out his words but he knew what he'd said. Looking up finally, Keith looked into Lance's ice blue eyes, noticing the dried tears on his cheeks and overall how... broken he Lance looked. He's never been good with words but for the sake of those sad eyes, Keith knows he has to try. "I'm so sorry, Lance."  

"This is exactly what I didn't want." Lance's voice was raucous, it surprised Keith, the tender sound he made when he talked, the pain that resided in him. "Pity. I don't want pity, Keith. It wont help me, that's why didn't tell you. I can't force you to love me." Lance sniffed, determined not to cry, his eyes too sore to cry again. "You said no, and that's okay." 

Keith had always admired, in a way, how good Lance was at conveying his feelings, he was good with words. Keith wasn't, never has been, and probably never would be. In times like this, there was so much he wanted to say, but he never knew how to say them. So many words, in so many different languages. So many words in the universe, but Keith couldn't string any of them together to speak his mind. 

"You're so selfish." Keith narrowed his eyes. Lance was taken aback. "You were going to let yourself die, and for what? Me? It's so naive. It's stupid! Lance, you need to think about how this would affect everyone else, what about your family?" Keith wasn't angry, he just wanted to get his point across, his words struck a nerve with Lance. 

"Why are you having a go at me? Just shut up! My family? They probably already think I'm dead! You want to know why? 'Cause I love you! I feel every kind of emotion possible whenever I see you, I feel so deeply, so vibrantly, this love for  _you_! I don't want to live not knowing this feeling again. If that's selfish? Then yeah, I guess I am." Lance's heart was beating so hard and he knew Keith could see that on the monitor. He didn't care anymore. Keith reached to wipe a stray tear from Lance's dark skin, one he hadn't realised had fallen. His hand lingered, unsure of his actions, he had never been one for affection. 

"I'm not here to argue." Keith said softly. "But you are an idiot. You've done this to yourself because you assume things. Truthfully? When you confessed to me, I didn't know what to think, because I was scared as well. I don't know what love is, I've never felt it, I never had a family to show me it. So I was confused, I didn't understand why you would like me? I said what I did because I didn't know what I was getting into, and I was leaving. The more I thought about it afterwards the more I regretted it, I realised..." Keith stopped, realising how long he'd been talking and blushed deeply, looking down. 

Lance's heart was beating steadily in his chest as he processed Keith's words. Lance's eyes drifted to Keith who was obviously struggling. The boy couldn't bring himself to say anymore but he didn't need to. Lance knew. He shifted, placing his hand on top of Keith's gloved one. The other boy looked up quickly at the contact. Lance smiled. Keith looked at their hands, one on top of the other. It didn't feel right. He intertwined their fingers, feeling his breath hitch in his throat. Why was his heart beating so loudly? 

Lance brought his hand to Keith's cheek, tracing the line of his cheekbone with his thumb. He stared, at every feature on Keith's face, loving the way his hair fell in front of the boy's storm cloud eyes. He was content with just staying like that forever. 

"You don't need to say anymore..." Lance reassured him as his eyes took him in again, a smile resting lazily on his lips. Keith was thankful for Lance's understanding. He was bad with words... but actions speak louder than words, right? 

Keith stood up, keeping Lance's hand in his, never letting go, never wanting to. He lent down over Lance, placing his hand on the mattress to balance himself. He didn't know what he was doing or why, but it felt right in that moment, and although he was nervous he pushed that away and focused on his other feelings. And what were they? Happiness. Anticipation. Love. 

Keith looked at Lance's eyes and saw the same emotions.

Their lips fell together in a kiss that seemed to stop time. They moved together, Lance sitting up more so he could hold Keith in his arms, his hand resting on Keith's neck, his fingers running through the bottom of his stupid mullet. Keith found his hand resting on Lance's chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath clothes and skin, so in sync with Keith's it almost scared him. Neither of them had ever felt this much intense love before and it was frightening but exciting. Keith had kissed people before, but all his experiences couldn't compare to this one moment. He could feel every emotion at once, see all colour at once, smelling nothing but Lance's scent that sent him into a spin of nostalgia and foreseeing. He saw flowers bloom in front of his eyes, ablaze with every colour imaginable. Their hands were still together and when they pulled away Lance kept his eyes closed for a second, pulling Keith's head so their foreheads rested together. 

"I love you." Lance whispered, opening his eyes to show Keith the emotion that swam in his irises. Keith smiled. 

"I... I love you, too." 

They sat together like that for what felt like forever, but equally could have been 10 seconds, not long enough for either of them. Lance thought of how they got there; Flowers. 

Flowers. That bloom when given sunlight and water, attention and care. 

That's what their love is. 

Their love is a garden of flowers that needs the sunlight of their smiles, the water of their tears to bloom. It needs attention and care to stay beautiful. 

Their love is a garden of flowers.

 

 

 


End file.
